The Sleep Issue:
Since helping people as a counsellor for over 10 years – I’ve encountered many, many people who are poor sleepers, and I’d have to put myself in this category at times as well unfortunately!
Oh my gosh how frustrating is it?!? Lying there in the middle of the night, waking up in the dark, being too hot, sweating, duvet comes off, then too cold, duvet back on, and back to being too hot again etc; overthinking about the things that have built up over the last day / week / month / year(s). Bouncing from one problem to the next lightning fast with no apparent control over my own mind!
Frustrating isn’t the word!
Try infuriating? Building into a murderous rage?? :) Perhaps not quite that bad, but I’m sure you get the idea! :)
Finding Solutions to sleep better:
So to try to help my clients (and myself), I went to the Happy Place Festival at Tatton Park on the 2nd September 2023. If you haven’t been, go next year if you can – it’s just joyful! I’ve even bought some incense sticks off the back of it! :)
I booked myself into a couple of classes to do with sleeping in the Silentnight tent there, saw Dr Sophie Bostock and learned some lovely things to try to break the cycle of poor sleep. I also supplemented this knowledge with what I know works, information from the Sleepfoundation.org website and https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3086142/ – so here’s what I’ve learned that can help, and I hope it helps you too.
Sleep Explained:
1) We are not evolutionary designed to sleep through the night – so we shouldn’t expect as much - many of us are still wired to wake up – why? To ensure that our cave / families / belongings are still safe. So we wake up for safety / survival reasons.
2) Waking up can be a gap between sleep cycles – if we sleep well, we have 4-6 sleep cycles / night.
3) There are 2 different types of sleep – Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) and Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep.
4) Each sleep cycle has 4 stages – Stages 1 - 3 are NREM, and Stage 4 is REM (Not the band! :)). To explain further:
A) Stage 1 – typically lasts between 1-7 minutes - We fall asleep, muscles start to relax, brain function slows – it’s easy to wake up from this stage.
B) Stage 2 – 10-25 minutes - Body temperature drops, brain slows down further, slower breathing and heart rate – easy to wake up from and we start to process the day’s happenings.
C) Stage 3 – 20-40 minutes - Deep sleep – everything slows further still, important for body recovery and growth, and brain is cleaned by cerebro spinal fluid – which is thought to help against dementia, improve congnition etc. Important for problem solving, memory and processing the day’s activities.
D) Stage 4 – REM – Brain activity increases, we dream, more problem solving happening, good for memory and learning, muscles become almost paralysed except for eyes and those responsible for breathing.
5) These stages happen (in theory! :)) 4-6 times / night.
6) Stage 2 is the stage we often get stuck in, and this is when we wake up worrying about whatever the brain was processing at the time.
7) When we worry (overthinking), Cortisol (Fight or Flight hormone) is released. This beats Melatonin (Sleep hormone) hands down and we wake up further, become hotter (blood pumping readying us for fight / flight), overthinking to try to figure out a solution to our worries / predict attack.
8) This leads to a lack of sleep – lack of sleep affects dopamine levels in the prefrontal cortex, and we are unable to be as calm, problem solve as well, be as logical, or think as rationally. This affects our mood, we may be more impulsive as our judgment gets worse, and react worse to negative things, and a lack of sleep can ultimately lead to an increase in mood disorders.
9) So essentially, better sleep = better mental health. No surprises there.
So what can we do about it?? I hear you ask :).
To Sleep Better we need to:
A) Plan – make sure you have a chance to recover if you have a late night planned.
B) Know your triggers – i.e. cortisol making situations. E.g. situations that are new / unfamiliar / uncontrollable or unpredictable / threat to self, family or status etc. all create cortisol, which trumps melatonin, so we can’t sleep. So deal with / prepare for as many of these issues as you can. We then feel things are in hand, and we worry less.
C) Before bed – we need to be boring! Try to have things as opposite to B above as possible. Things need to be repetitive and safe, and perhaps have a picture of a loved one to hand or a favourite teddy for emotional comfort.
D) Consistent wake / sleep time. Helps things be predictable / safe.
E) Getting out into sunlight as often as possible helps the brain distinguish between wake and sleep time.
F) We need darkness to sleep better – having a light bedroom at night keeps us in stage 2, where we process / overthink moreso. So use an eye mask if your room is light or blackout curtains.
G) No large meals 3 hours before bed.
H) Caffeine reduces sleep pressure (i.e. the intensity of that sleepy feeling) – so if you’re struggling to fall asleep, go to bed later to increase the sleep pressure.
I) Do Yoga, Mindfulness, increase the activation of your Parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) – this is the antithesis of your Sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). And it helps to gain more of a feel good, calm effect on your mind and body (rest and digest / feed and breed etc.). If you want more details on PNS activation, you are welcome to enrol on the Personal Power and Pride Program (further details on my website). Where the importance of this is discussed, and many techniques are shared, which have helped me to sleep better because I (and others I’ve helped) am better able to manage anxiety / stress.
J) Overthinking – have a notepad with a pencil by the bedside – write down the problem, and make a Plan of action on how to deal with it, then “Sod it! till the morning, I’ll deal with it then!” :). If you can’t think of a solution there and then, put it on your things to do tomorrow list, and talk about it with someone you trust. Two heads are often better than one, and it means you’re not on your own to have to deal with it then.
K) What if ....... – one of the favourite question our brains like to ask us is “What if ……. Happens?” – again and again. The answer to this is “So what, I’ll deal with it if it ever happens!” This takes practice and self-confidence. If you feel you lack this, the Personal Power and Pride Program can help you with this as well.
L) Cool yourself down – to help you go back to sleep, cool yourself back down.
M) Ice baths 2 times / week, or sauna 3 times / week – puts the body under acute stress, where the body will need to sleep to recover.
N) Stop trying so hard to sleep – if you can’t sleep after 15-20mins, get up and do something boring / not too stimulating. Then when bored, eyes get heavy, go back to bed. This is important for us to start to reassociate our bed with sleep and positivity, rather than negativity and the expectation / misery / fear that we won’t sleep (again!).
Short sleep related points of interests:
1) Napping – when the sleep pressure is high during the day, it does no harm to nap between 12 noon to 3pm, for no more than 20 mins. This reduces the sleep pressure and you can be more alert / productive.
2) If you don’t want to nap – take regular breaks. This helps the brain to process what’s going on during the day in smaller more manageable chunks – so your brain doesn’t have to be so busy and process everything in one lump at bedtime / middle of the night.
3) The amount of blue light from your phone isn’t the problem really – it’s the stimulation – what you’re doing with it / watching etc. is what keeps you awake.
4) If you’re having trouble getting your kids to sleep – “What to do when you dread your bed” (https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-Dread-Your-What/dp/1433803186) is what Dr Sophie Bostock recommended to help with this.
I hope you found something in this interesting and of use.
For help with Overthinking / Anxiety / Stress management, the Personal Power and Pride Program is available to you, and I welcome you to give me a call and we can discuss if it is right for you.
And finally, I wish you the best of luck for the future with it all, we can conquer this sleep malarkey if we’re ready to make some positive changes!! :)
Go for it! You can do it! :)
Eilir
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